Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Next Night

"Dude, I don't know what to make of it, I put that sword in my closet like Fluffy said, and the flame went out. But I'm nervous, what if it starts up and burns the house down?" John was a little high strung. He was wasn't used to flaming hunks of cool metal sitting on his carpet, in his closet, full of cloths. James was a voice of reason however, "Man, I'm sure it's fine, think about what you've experienced in the last twenty four hours." And that was all it took, because John remembered exactly how the last twenty four hours had played out.
In the morning he woke up, and noticed first the sword on his bed. The second thing he noticed was the bed fire that started when he touched the sword with his foot and it ignited. After dousing his bed with a fire extinguisher, and opening every door and window in the house, he went down stairs for breakfast. Which, unlike the rest of his day was pretty good. The next mission was of course waking up James, often a nightmare of definitive quality. But it was a busy day, and they had important shit to do. Mainly, find a bag of weed, find real jobs, and somewhere in between the pool and smoking spliffs they had to return to the fountain to make sure that talking rabbits really exist.
So a phone call was made, by John, to Samantha, his hook up. Sam was sad to say, she was out, but gave him the number of a mutual friend that might be of some aid, she called him "D" which turned out to be somewhat fortuitous.
"Hey, is this D? Sam said to call you?" John said.
"Yes, this is D, do you know where Fourth and Rockwell is?"
"Yeah, the little mini mart?"
"Thats the one, go there, ask if the gentleman at the counter if they have any pickle milk. He'll direct you to where you can find it." Click.
"well, James, I guess we're going to have ourselves a bodega experience. First for everything right?" John asked.
"Yeah. This is going to be great. Should we bring the flaming sword for back up?" James joked.
The two young men made their way to the spot, a little nervous, meeting new people and all but they were confident.
"Hello, excuse me is there any one working here?" John asked walking in. The place seemed empty.
"Well, maybe they got robbed," said James.
"I suppose, it is that kind of neighborhood," John couldn't have said a worse thing.
"And what the fuck kind of neighbor hood is that, cracker? A Niggahood? Is that what you meant to say, huh? White boy?" A very irate black cashier stands up from behind the counter with a shot gun. He seems to have had some kind of run in with racists in the past, and clearly is just trying to get to the bottom of things.
"Um, no, I meant poor actually. Poor neighborhood. I've seen all sorts of poverty stricken white kids on these streets. I have not one racist bone in my body. I was actually looking for some Pickle Milk to tell you the truth. Have any?" John spoke calmly to the man. Trying not to invoke any violent reactions.
"Pickle Milk!? Oh, shit, D must have sent for you, okay, okay, yeah, Take a walk back to the freezer. Open the door on the left, and just reach out and grab the Hungry Man Pickle Milk Stroggenof Microwavable Dinner. Don't pull too hard though, your not looking to take it off the shelf." As James opened his mouth to ask what the hell this guy was talking about the cashier spoke first, "You'll see what I mean when you get there, just go."
John opened up the door and motioned for James to grab the frozen meal.
"Hell no man, you grab it. Your the one who wants to get high so bad." James was always kind of a prick about this k ind of thing.
"Fuck you man, I'm gonna smoke this by my self if you don't grab it." John gave the look with his face that said, 'Im no fuckin round mate.' and James grabbed the meal. The shelf began to retract, pulling the meal right out of James' hand and where the shelf used to stand a stairway to a door way was exposed. Our hero's walked down the steps towards the door.

You begin to regain your sense of reality, and like waking from a dream you look around to discover you really are still in a bar, laughing and rowdy people surround you. They're drinking and smoking, and the Story Teller sits still next to you, lighting another smoke.
"So, what do you think so far? Pretty cool trick, this story thing right? Not every night you go out and get to experience another reality." He smiles, and inhales off his smoke. You find yourself a little antsy, wanting to know more about John and James, the Talking Rabbits, and the war for earth. And so you will. With a puff of smoke, the Story Teller surrounds you once again in the setting of the story, the Door to D at the bottom of the stairs swings open, and the smoke settles. John and James walk through the door, and are quite surprised to find a short haggard looking man hunched over a table, and four suitcases with different drugs and denominations of weight.
"What can I do for you gentleman? I have whatever you need, from a joint of weed to a speed ball bump, whatever your hump, we satisfy your jones," He paused and snap-pointed to a spot in thin air over the suitcases, "right here."
John spoke first "umm, wow, thats a lot of different shit. Can I just get a half of your most economic green?"
"economic green, why whatever do you mean? I have highs, I have lows, I have in betweens you know? State your leisure, it will be my pleasure!"
"Now that was crafty, I gotta give props for the leisure and pleasure rhyme, it took some skillz" James, who lacked a social filter of any sort added to the conversation.
"Um, well, I've got 60 bucks to spend, what ever that will get me." John wasn't picky, he just wanted to get high and not have to buy weed again in two days. He also articulated this.
"To get high, and not have to buy, so often, to the coffin of your wallet. I understand my man, and I can do what I can." The haggard man tossed John a bag, he could smell it as it flew through the air. "60 bucks little man, put that shit, in my hand! Hah, I stole that one from Jay and Silent Bob, but I love when movie quotes are applicable to real life."
As the men left they were somewhere between flabbergasted, and relieved. It was time to roll a spliff, turn in a few applications and smoke the fuck out of the joint. And this they did.
Which brings us to where we started, the two men walking towards the fountain to wait for Muffy, the talking hind leg walking Rabbit General.
By the time Muffy arrived, the men had smoked two spliffs, and were deep in conversation about the nature of human beings, and how they got to be so violent and stupid. On a whole.
"Well, you two are going to really get to know the nature of human beings, demons, angles, and neutrals, don't you worry. And good job on first contact with Dioxion, hows his weed?" Muffy appeared and made hast wasting no time getting down to business.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

"So, Replacements,"

Fluffy paced back and forth. "So, replacements, they didn't have the decency to give me the heads up.. I'm totally unprepared for this." The rabbit was walking on his hind legs like a man, hands on hip, he shot a look at John and the spliff. "Hey do you think I could get a pull of that man?" John looked down at Fluffy, and then to James, he shrugged, and said "Sure man, have at it." Fluffy took the spliff in his furry paws, like bugs bunny smoking a giant cigar he took a deep pull. Fluffy bit the end of the blunt and swallowed it.
"Jesus man, take it easy on the nibbling, that stuffs cheap but not that cheap!" John, like smokers can often be, was a little miffed at the audacity of the little fur ball.
"Relax Chong, you'll see things a little differently next time you pull off that." Fluffy smiled, and gave a nod to Muffy who was heading towards the Merry Go Round. " Take a look at Muffy after that hit." John took the spliff and pulled in deep, he looked around, and found Muffy sitting next to a tree by the Merry Go Round. James hit the spliff and saw the same.
"So what, I see a talking, hind leg walking, Rabbit kicking it by a tree," They shrugged, but jumped back as Muffy hopped closer to the Merry Go Round. They exhaled and watched a dome of energy form around the Merry Go Round as Muffy stepped into it, it was as though an invisible field of energy existed around the play ground ride. Muffy hopped into the dome and transformed into a beautiful tall blond woman with silky complexion. The black splotches of her fur turned into a silk black dress that draped off of her body like a mist of air committed to her body. She smiled and stepped back out into the park, and once again was a rabbit.
"Pretty neat trick right? You guys should see what I look like, " Fluffy began. John took the liberty to interrupt however,"I'm sure its a wonder."
"Right, dick. Anyway, this is an entry point into the world of the spirit. That guy you saw come here, Dioxion was his name. He is a ranking agent in Hell's Army Intelligence Community(HAIC), and tonight you caught him giving safe passage to ranking Generals of the Core of Demons(COD), and a few of the top cats from the Legion of Minions(LOM)." Fluffy continues. "James, are you going to hit that or pass that?" Fluffy said.
James hit, and passed the joint, "Sorry man."
"It's no problem," Fluffy, now smoking more of a roach talked while holding his breath. He exhaled, "Dioxion has been moving and shaking in these parts for about a year or so, we started surveillance about six months ago, as you know. His story is pretty simple, like I said, he's top HAIC, he's worked in every branch of Hell's Army, and is frankly, the only one of these bastards we want to bring in alive." Fluffy smiled, passing the roach to John, "That's where you guys come in, I guess, your first assignment. To fun his activities of the spiritual realm, Dioxion is known to dabble in... how would you say... street corner entrepreneurship. " Fluffy paused, John took an opportunity to get a word in,
"So he's a dope dealer?" John tossed the roach to the ground, for the bugs, the spirit of the earth.
"Oh yeah, he's a dope dealer alright. Crack, Heroin, Pills, PCP, Weed, Coke, Special K and Ecstacy. A regular Sears and Robuk, so to speak." Fluffy plopped down on all fours, "Look, for now I need you guys to get close to this guy, get into his scene. Your spiritually apt already, by your nature, he's going to know your players, just don't let him know who's side your on." Fluffy gave the men a nod, to say, 'you know what I mean?'
"You mean you want us to tell this guy we worship the devil so he'll give us secrets?" James asked.
"No, I want you to buy drugs from him, and become his friend, let him know, that you know, the war is coming, and offer your services, let him know what side you want to be on." Fluffy paused, "basically, you need to go to this guy and defect from the Nation of God, and swear to divulge secrets of the Army of God. Of course, we'll give you the proper secrets, you'll be prepared." Fluffy stood up on his hind legs again, "don't fuck this up guys, it's your first gig. And relax, it starts tomorrow, so get some rest. We'll meet here again tomorrow night to go over some more fine print. Well, Muffy will meet you here, I'm going to Hawaii.
"Oh yeah, one more thing," Fluffy pointed behind the men, to the fountain. The fountain began to hiss and boil, the water took on a shine like mercury and began to boil. With a violent eruption of fire and steam, something shot out of the fountain, and with a sonic boom and a delayed scream went soaring light years into the nights sky. It was only a moment later that John and James saw a bright twinkle in the distance.
The twinkle got brighter and began to move, and like an approaching asteroid came hurling back towards the earth. The fire in the sky was seen from New York to Los Angles, from Seattle to Miami, but it only lasted a second. The engulfed sky shrunk around a single flaming streak which penetrated the ground, melting concrete like butter.
"Holy shit, " John said, backing up his eyes gazing on a sword of fire, which seemed to burn effortlessly with out any fuel source.
"John, take the sword," Fluffy spoke in a very deep, and serious tone, it was as though he was some one else. "The flames will not hurt your hand, It is safe."
" I don't know man, I learned a thing or two about hot surfaces as a kid... Stove, hand, bad combination you know?" Fluffy however was not moved,
"It is safe."
John looked at James, but was disappointed to find that James was frozen in place, he seemed, in a trance. "Okay, I suppose." As he walked towards the sword, the flames grew hotter and John could feel it on his face. A whirl wind of flame swirled around the sword, but to his surprise, his hand felt no heat as he reached into the torrent of fire. The handle was cool to his hand, this moved up his arm and across his body. As he pulled the sword from the cement the flames dropped down to a low roar, pilot light variety.
"That's a tool of the trade, you should put it in your closet for now, you won't need it for a while." Fluffy smirked, and scurried off into the bushes.
James was dazed, and grasped for reassurance that he wasn't dreaming, "John, What the hell just happened? I was in like a space ship of some kind, this weird guy gave me this sword." John's head darted to the sword in James' hands.
"Man, you won't believe this," and John flashed his flaming sword.
"Oh, that is cool."